I fell off the face of the Earth for a while. Also known as, I had a baby and my whole life turned upside down. I've said it before, but Will was a very simple, laid back, and easy child. He slept, he nursed every 3 hours or so, he smiled, and he rarely cried. He and his baby sis are the complete opposite in every sense of the word. She loves to be held, and gets rather upset if you dare to put her down. She also loves to nurse. If she had it her way, she would stay attached to my boob for about 20 out of every 24 hours. She had a penchant for crying as well. She cried A LOT the first 6 weeks of her life. The Dr. said colic was to blame, and it felt nice to have a label or a reason to place upon the 2 hours of screaming that would take place in our house every night, but it didn't give us a solution for it. "Just wait it out, that's all you can do." So, we did. We walked, and bounced, and shushed, and rocked, and swaddled, and burped, and swung, and sang to her. There were nights when I looked at her and begged, "Please, just tell me what I can do." "Please, go to sleep." "Please, stop crying." Of course, my pleas were not answered, so we just kept doing what we knew to do until one day, she stopped crying, started smiling, and started sleeping. She sleeps next to me, always has, nuzzled in the crook of my arm each night. She loves it there. She loves my smell. She loves to sleep nurse ever so quietly. She loves me. She needs me. And I'm there for her. Nothing is more fulfilling than that.
Avery is a high need baby and I love her for that more than anything. I don't fault her for "quirks", I embrace her because of them. I love that she's emotional and passionate. I love that she's serious and clingy. I love her because she is so different from Will, not in spite of it. And I love him more now for the child that he is, because of the child that she is. I never suspected that motherhood would give me this gift. It's been the biggest surprise of this journey so far. Two children who are so opposite from each other, yet still a part of me. Still a part of Rob. Two children who I love more than life itself, for all their many differences.