Pink Cake

To say that I was shocked when we cut the cake on Saturday and saw pink is a huge understatement. I was beyond surprised, I was stunned. I had convinced myself that we were having another boy. I dreamed (several times) that the cake was blue. Aside from some morning sickness in the beginning of this pregnancy, I feel the same as I did when I was pregnant with Will. I am carrying the same, I look the same and I generally feel pretty freaking awesome. So, I totally had no doubt in my mind that I had another boy running around in there. It is taking me quite some time to recover from being wrong. I still find myself mumbling things like, "Wow, pink cake!" or "IT IS A GIRL." I figure if I say it enough, it will eventually sink in.

I should say, however, I am completely and utterly thrilled that I was wrong. I wanted this baby to be a girl so bad, I couldn't stand it. I wanted it to be a girl so badly, that I honestly believe that is the main reason I convinced myself it was a boy. Because then when we cut the cake and it was blue, I could just say "I knew it!" and move on. I wouldn't have to be disappointed that I wasn't having a girl, because I knew it was a boy all along, right? (The mind games we play with ourselves can get a bit complicated.) Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE to have another boy too. When I was pregnant with Will and found it he was a boy, I immediately thought that I would want a girl next, but when he came along, he was so perfect and sweet, I started thinking "Another boy actually wouldn't be so bad." Rob and I really only planned for two kids though, and we wanted to have one of each. We eventually wanted a girl, and had decided if this baby was another boy, maybe we would try again in another few years for our girl and just have three kids instead of two. I just thought there was no way possible it could work out that perfectly. No one wants a boy first and a girl next and actually gets it, right? I didn't believe it would happen for us. I didn't think that we would be that blessed. But we are, and WOW, I can't even begin to tell you how over-the-moon-happy I am. I kept waking up Saturday night thinking that the cake had all been a dream. And you know what, it really is a dream. A very, very good one.

L