Blackmail

I am SO putting this in a safe spot to use against him one day. Because that's what mothers do.

Wednesday Wish List

You know what time it is. The Wednesday wish list is on the menu for today. Along with some pasta and hopefully a burrito. From my mouth to Rob's culinary ears.

If you don't know about Etsy, you should drop everything you are doing right now and go there. (Well, maybe you should finish reading this first. Thanks.) I must warn you though, you may get stuck on this site for the rest of the day and possibly dip into your retirement fund. There is no better place to buy gifts, because everything is handmade and original. No one will open your gift from Etsy and think to themselves, "Great, I already have 3 of these." There are so many talented people out there and this site is a gathering of thousands of them.

Along those lines, everything on today's wish list was found on Etsy. Today I am going to focus on photographs, because there are a zillion beautiful images out there just begging to be framed and displayed. Here are just a few that caught my eye recently. Enjoy!


Places and Moments fine art photo from Yvetteinufio's Etsy store. There is something magical and ethereal about this photo. I just love the quote she chose to accompany it. Beautiful!


Ding Dong photo from GroovinPop's Etsy shop. I'm a huge Wizard of Oz fan, which I know why I was immediately drawn to this photo. I just think it's too cool and funky.



Storm Approcahing photo from JudeMcconkey's Etsy shop. The colors in this photo are amazing. I love the contract between the menacing dark cloud and the red lighthouse.


Love will Tear Us Apart photo from Studiocvh's Etsy store. I bought this photo and let me tell you, it's even more beautiful in person. The paper Cathy prints on compliments her work perfectly.


And last but not least, this Cupcake with Rainbow Sprinkles photo from TulipPhotographicArt's Etsy shop. I really love this photo because of the gorgeous colors and the composition. And NO, it has absoultely nothing to do with the fact that I'm pregnant and could do a face plant into a cupcake right now.



That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

L

My Kid

Will never ceases to amaze me. He's smart, he's funny, and he's so cute I can hardly look directly at him. But I do. I stare at him. I stare at him and marvel at the fact that I had a hand in him being on this Earth. He was that pesky little peanut kicking around in my belly all those months ago. He was that tiny baby that I brought home, yellow and jaundice, scared to death that I was going to do something wrong. And he's still is that baby to me. I guess he always will be. But he's also this super cool, rockin' kid now. And I truly couldn't be more proud of the little person he's becoming.






Happy looooong weekend!
L

Wednesday Wish List

My lists are usually filled with beautiful things and lovely websites where you can shop and be inspired to decorate and beautify your home. This week, I can't even muster the energy to do any online shopping (Blasphemy!) and my wish list goes a little something something like this.

1. I wish the thought of taco meat didn't make me want to puke my guts up.

2. I wish the taste of oatmeal didn't make me puke my guts up.

3. I wish my boobs didn't hurt so bad that right now, I'm angry with my bra for touching me.

4. I wish it were 5 o'clock so that I could race out to the car and sleep while Rob drives us to go get Will.

5. I wish that the first trimester was over already.

Pretty hefty requests, huh? I guess I'll just have to wait it out a little while longer and try my best not to nod off at my desk or hurl in my trash can. T-minus 9 weeks until the 2nd trimester. At this rate, someone may have to drag me across the finish line. I promise to go quietly. No kicking or screaming. Maybe just some light snoring.

L

Coming out of Hiding

I admit, I kind of just threw that pregnancy test up on my blog and bolted. No explanation, no celebrating, no details. Truth is, I had to let it sink in for a while. I had to let it process and resonate. Sometimes, I still don't believe it, but I've got the test and a sick stomach to prove it. I took the test last Wednesday. I hadn't started and since my cycle is as dependable as the sun rising and setting, I knew something was up.

Come Wednesday, I couldn't stand it one moment longer, so I made up some lame excuse to Rob, told him that I needed to run by the drugstore at lunch, and suggested that he just wait in the car while I did my shopping. We arrived back to work, I sprinted to the bathroom and tore into the package while trying to hold my pee back. I didn't need to read the instructions. Been here, done this. Lots. Without thinking about the repercussions, I realized that in my haste at the drugstore, I had picked the 5 minute test. Great! Now I was going to be locked in the office bathroom for 5 minutes staring at this test while everyone else wonders what the heck is going on in here.

About 15 seconds after my Hcg infested pee hit the stick, two bright, thick lines popped up on the test like flashing lights. I froze. My heart hit my stomach. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I smiled. I cried. I felt like I was cheating on Will, even though we had been planning this pregnancy and trying since December to no avail. Every possible emotion that could be experienced swept over me in a matter of minutes. Fear. Joy. Excitement. Sadness. More Joy. I blame the pregnancy horomones, but I know it's much more than that. We wanted this and we got it. We are going to be bringing someone new into our family. I'm going to be a mom again. Rob is going to be a dad again. Will is going to be a big brother. It just doesn't get much better than that.

Leslie

Sometimes There are No Words...

Heartbroken

I finally have solid proof that I am a crazy person. I've been suspecting it for many years and now, I know the truth. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, so here goes.

I get entirely too wrapped up in my television shows. Last night, I watched the season finale of Grey's Anatomy. I cried. I felt sick to my stomach. I could hardly sleep. I thought about it as soon as I woke up this morning. Today, I am literally mourning the death of one of my favorite characters, George O'Malley. How insane is it that I truly feel like I lost an actual friend? Somebody slap me! EARTH TO LESLIE, HE'S NOT REAL!! Try telling this to my broken heart. I'm crushed. I need some time to wrap my head around this. I need to dress in all black and wear big sunglasses and a huge veil over my face. I need to pay my condolences to his fake family. I need to take a couple days off of work for grievance....or at least to find myself a good therapist.

Signed, Lost all Touch with Reality in TN

Wednesday Wish List

Here we are again. Another Wednesday, and I haven't keeled over from exhaustion. I even stayed up until 10:40 last night. I really amaze myself sometimes.

But enough about me. Here is the wish list for the week. It's a bunch of random stuff, because well, I'm feeling pretty random these days. Enjoy!


If I lived alone, I would have a cutesy, girly house with these Glass Sprung Turning Knobs on every door. Don't they just make you feel pretty?


I'm in love with these Moroccan Leather Pouffes. They are so hip and colorful. I'd love to have the blue one. And the pink one. And the brown one. Oh whatever, I'll just take one of each.


This wool felt butterfly lamp pendant is perhaps the sweetest lamp I've ever seen. I need a baby girl so I can hang this in her nursery. I should probably consult with Rob on this problem.


Here's something else to go in the girly house. Or the girly nursery. I'm not a chandelier kind of girl, but this Vintage Flower Chandelier could convert me into a believer.


Last but not least are these incredible Spiragoya Vases. They are so dainty and graceful. Love!


Till next time....
L

Birth Plans

There is a very interesting discussion going on at Momversation about birth plans. When I was pregnant with Will, my take on a birth plan went a little like this, "Birth plan?? Seriously? Don't you just go in there and push with all your might until the little sucker pops out? Birth plan! Phpppt! I don't need no stinkin' birth plan." And you're not going to believe this, but I was dead wrong.

My labor was going rather slowly. After a few hours of being in labor, I was dilated to 2, had not asked for the epidural, and my water had not yet broken on it's own. My OB came in and broke my water and then the nurses suggested Pitocin. Dum, dum, dummmm! I should have flat out refused it. Every natural instinct inside me told me that I didn't want this evil, devil drug. I told the nurses so. They proceeded to make me feel extremely guilty about that decision. They said that after your water breaks, the baby has to be delivered within a reasonable period of time or it can become dangerous. They said things like, "We really need to get this process going," and "We give women Pitocin all day, every day. It's perfectly safe." Needless to say, I caved. I felt like I was an uninformed woman (I was right) who had no idea what was best for myself. I reasoned in my head that the nurses and doctors do this every day and of course, they have my best interest in mind. While this may be true, I should have never agreed to something that I was so fearful over and uncomfortable with in the first place.

After that Pitocin started pulsing through my veins, all hell broke loose. The contractions, which were once manageable, were amplified about 1000x to the point where I was, OH.MY.GOD.GET.THE.DRUGS!! I had an epidural, proposed to the anesthesiologist while Rob wasn't looking and settled in. Everything was going to be beautiful now, right? Well, not exactly. Both my body and Will's body hated Pitocin. My blood pressure kept dipping low, at some points dangerously low. At the lowest, it hit 80/30 and there were bells and sirens going off and nurses rushing in to flip me and my OB rushing my family out of the room. They managed to get my BP under control, but I was contracting so hard from the Pitocin, that Will's heart rate kept going into distress. Because of this, he wasn't moving down and I wasn't dilating like I should be. After many scary hours of Pitocin, watching Will's heart rate rise and fall on the monitor and dealing with my waning BP, I was still only dilated to 5. My OB said I couldn't go on and that I would need a c-section. I cried. I was scared. It had been such a long night with a roller coaster of emotions and it had come to this. I just wanted my baby to be healthy, so I sucked it up and put on a brave face for surgery.

The first time I saw his face

My c-section went well, but babies who are born by section often have a problem with fluid build up in their lungs. Since they don't travel through the birth canal like nature intended it, the fluid that is normally squeezed out during this passage, just sits in their lungs. This happened to Will. After my OB pulled him from my belly and gave me a look at him, he was whisked off to take care of this problem. I sat in my room for almost 3 hours waiting to see my baby. They wouldn't let me get up because of the c-section and the epidural, so I just laid in bed sobbing, begging for someone to "Bring me my son!" I was a ball of hormones. I was exhausted. I just wanted to see him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and forget that anything else existed.

I did, of course, get to see him and hold him and nurse him eventually, but I couldn't help but wonder how things may have played out differently if I just went with my gut and refused that Pitocin. Would I have been able to deliver vaginally as I had hoped? Would I have been able to hold my baby right after he was born? Would he have had those breathing issues? I can't answer these questions, and all that matters in the end is that he was a happy and healthy child. I will, however, have a birth plan should I ever get a second chance at this labor and delivery thing. Of course, I realize that things happen and don't always go according to plan, but I want to have some say so next time. As crazy as it may sound, since I helped put him in my body, I'd like to make some of the decisions about how he comes out.

L

What I Love about Mommy'ing

Since Mother's Day is this weekend, I have been thinking a lot about all the amazing little things that motherhood brings. Here is a brief list of the things I love the most..

1. Reading bedtime stories
2. Eskimo kisses
3. Baby lotion (the most perfect smell on Earth)
4. Holding hands
5. Chocolate milk
6. Baby breath
7. Footed jammies
8. Breastfeeding
9. Watching him sleep
10. Cuddles
11. Gummy grins
12. Firsts
13. Hearing "Mommy!" with the utmost excitement
14. Playing like I'm a kid again
15. Seeing my husband be a dad
16. Delirious kid laughs
17. Baby blankets
18. Watching the light bulb go off in his head while he's trying to figure something out
19. The zoo
20. Bathtime
21. Hearing him say "I love you"
22. Singing to him and rocking him at bedtime
23. Finding the beauty in the little things again
    
24. Giving in to an all encompassing, bigger-than-life love
25. Realizing that no matter how much I thought I would love being a mom, I really had no idea how deep that love would run

Hope you have a wonderful weekend and a very happy Mother's Day!

L

Creature of Habit

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a very organized (ahem, anal) person. I like having a plan. Writing lists gives me a bit of a rush. I'm not one to deviate from the itinerary. When there is a wrinkle in the program, my eye starts to twitch. This quality drives my husband nuts, because instead of having relaxing Saturdays where we just frolick about from one activity to the next, I panic and ask questions like, "Well, what time EXACTLY do you think we'll eat?" or "When we get there, will we go to the fruit market first or to look at the flowers first? I NEED TO KNOW!" This results in Rob looking at me like I have three eyes and saying calmly, "Honey, I don't know, you decide." He's learned a lot since we've been together.

So, when I say that not getting to write a Wednesday Wish List yesterday bugs me, I mean, it physically pains me to the point where I may need treatment. It all started Tuesday. A friend of mine gave me an energy/dietary supplement/vitamin drink. I don't drink anything other than water and the occasional glass of wine. I never drink caffeine as it turns me into a shaky, jittery mess. So, my stomach was not equipped to handle this blend of berries and vitamins. It didn't have caffeine in it, but some other substance that made me equally as shaky and jittery as caffeine does. I suffered through the morning and figured it would wear off eventually. By lunch, I was actually feeling some better and had decided that I needed Mexican food. It was Cinco de Mayo and there was so much chatter on Facebook, Twitter and even CNN about it, I was convinced I must have a taco or I would die. I ate chips and salsa, a chicken burrito and a beef taco. It was all I had hoped for and more. I was one happy camper....Until I got back to work. My stomach was churning and burning and cursing me like never before. The jumpy, yucky feeling I had earlier from the trendy vitamin infused berry drink was back with a vengance. I must have looked as though I was going to die, because one of the managers here told me to go lay down on the couch in the conference room. I did, but the overwhelming urge to puke just wouldn't go away. I finally rushed to the bathroom and lost it all, the stupid berry drink and my beloved Mexican food. It wasn't pretty and I don't recommend combining those two things. EVER.

Since I went home early on Tuesday and lounged around on the couch all weak and pueny for the rest of the night, I didn't get to do the research (i.e. waste time surfing the net for cool stuff) in order to put together the list for yesterday. I promise next week will be better. I have sworn to never drink another of those silly energy drinks. I'm just not hip enough to handle Acai berry apparently.

L

Picnic Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

Click here for a chance to win this beautiful handmade dress. So feminine and delicate. I'm in love.

White Decor

It's raining here. It's been raining for days. It's yucky and I'm not a fan. Rainy days and Mondays always bring me down. The combination of the two is deadly. In an effort to cheer myself up a bit, I decided to browse Flickr for some non rainy day images. I'm already in a better mood and feel inspired to rush home and paint or wallpaper.

Since having a child, seeing white and pastel decor intrigues me. I look at it as though it's this untouchable territory that no parent dare to enter. So, if you don't have children with grubby fingers and a tendency to spill chocolate milk, I suggest you decorate your place like this immediately. Then invite me over to spend the weekend. I'll be waiting on my invitation.

Images found on Decorology

Wait a minute, this next photo has a child in it. With chalk! There's no way this child actually lives here, right? Can't be. She must be a prop.

Here's to a new week and seeing the sun shine again.

L

The End of the World

Will was in one of those moods yesterday. Let me be more specific, he was in one of those "If you dare to utter the word 'no' to me, the Earth will stop turning and I will melt into a puddle of my own tears" moods. In general, he's a lovely child. He's laid back, easy going and happy about 99% of the time. When that dreaded 1% kicks in though, stand back and grab your ear plugs. I actually have to hold myself back from laughing at him when he is in mid-tantrum. Not because I'm a horrible, evil mommy, but because I can't believe the things that bring him to this point.

Yesterday, it was all about the food. When we left the sitter's house, he spotted a pack of crackers in his bag and immediately started asking for them. I explained to him that he couldn't have the crackers now because we were going home to eat dinner. He had a mini freak out until Rob managed to distract him with talk of what else we would be eating. Crisis averted. When we got home, Rob immediately started cooking tacos, but Will had different dinner plans in mind and decided that he wanted cereal instead. Since we are trying to get him to eat what we eat for dinner and not turn ourselves into short order cooks to cater to his every desire, I told him no. Down to the floor he went, kicking and crying and wailing, "CERRRRREALLLL! CERRRRRREALL!!" I ignored him (these are the rules) and let him get over his fit. It took him about 3 minutes. It was rough, but we made it through. Now, it was time to eat tacos. We mixed up taco meat, tomatoes, sour cream, lettuce and cheese in a bowl for him, because we're no where near brave enough yet to give him an actual taco with a shell. Talk about a mess. He looks at his bowl filled with taco salad and asked for more cheese. I sprinkled a little more on top. He asked for more cheese. I sprinkled a little more. "MOOOOORE CHEESE!" he says and I tell him, "One more scoop of cheese." By this time, cheese is practically falling out of the sides of the bowl, so it wasn't as though I was being stingy or anything. Well, you know what, that wasn't enough cheese for my boy. Another fit ensued and he laid in the floor, screaming, crying, kicking, and throwing any object within his reach while Rob and I ate our tacos and pretended like everything was peachy. This fit went on for about 10 minutes. Rob tried to go in once and bring him out to eat with us. He wanted nothing to do with it. His tantrum was not over and no one was going to cheat him out of it. I went to him when the crying slowed and I could tell that he was starting to wear down. I asked him if he wanted to come eat his salad and he jumped right up on his feet, wiped the tears from his little red face and said, "Uh huh." And it was all over. Just like that, he was fine. He ate his salad like a champ. I'm sure he was famished from all that energy he wasted thrashing around on the floor.

Just another day with a 2 year old. What can I say, my boy is serious about his food. And as much as I want to laugh when he gets like this, I think back to my pregnancy, I recall my meltdowns over mashed potatoes, and I decide I should probably just keep my big mouth shut.

Have a great weekend!
L