Anger

I think of myself as a pretty calm and reasonable person. I am not someone who is quick to anger or short tempered by any means. Most of the time, I just go with the flow and feel like I have a pretty level and diplomatic head. Of course, I have my own personal beliefs and opinions on certain issues, but I pride myself in being respectful about the choices that others make for themselves even when our views don't necessary align alongside one anothers. In general, I guess I just happen to believe in the goodness of most people. I belong to the school of thought that the vast majority of the people out there are like me, just doing their best and trying to get it right as they go. We all make mistakes. Not one of us is perfect. But, I honestly believe that we are trying, scraping, struggling, fighting to do the right thing every day. I believe in the goodness of people.

So, when I read something like this, the anger starts to swell inside me. As I read the article while eating my morning bowl of Cheerios, I literally felt the heat rising in my face. I felt a sickness setting into my stomach. I felt sad. I felt disgusted. And there was the anger again. I guess I've been a bit naive, because I honestly didn't know/realize that abortions of this caliber are legal in the US. I think about how active Will was in my belly by the end of the second trimester and the beginning on the third. He was a person then. He had his own personality already. He was as stubborn to move once he got into a comfortable spot then as he is now at 2 & 1/2 years old. He had hiccups. He stretched his little arms and flexed his toes and sucked his thumb. He yawned. His heart beat faster than mine ever will. And that, I suppose, is why I feel such a deep sense of loss, sadness, and unbridled rage when I hear that a doctor in this county is willing to dismember a child who already has their own beautiful and unique qualities. That a physician who took an oath to "first do no harm" would nonchaulantly talk about how he supposes the babies were still alive as he was pulling their limbs apart, because "I can see the fetal heartbeat on the ultrasound."

I can't even say anymore. I have been shaking my head over this all day.

L