Friday, June 26, 2009

Pregnancy Dreams

There are lots of weird things that happen to a woman's body during pregnancy, but one of the most interesting and unexpected is how your dreams become these crazy, vivid, bizarre happenings each night. Even before I became pregnant, I was always the kind of person who could remember lots of details about my dreams. Now that another person is taking over my body, I remember ALL the details.

For instance, last night I had a dream that we invited some friends over for dinner. I had these two small two-person tables set up in the middle of my dining room. Each table had gorgeous light blue turquoise table cloths covering them and I had the four chairs draped with wispy white chair covers. Delicate white and silver china sat at each place setting, and a clear vase of white hydrangeas was the centerpiece on each table. We were cooking beef tenderloin with burgundy sauce, roasted asparagus and red potatoes. Sound like a lovely, normal dream, right? Just you wait.

When our guests arrived (enter Sam and Lindsey), I could tell that Lindsey was upset with me. She was acting strange and I couldn't figure out why. I blew it off, and went into the kitchen to get drinks for everyone. When I came back in the dining room, carrying the tray full of drinks, Lindsey pulled out a revolver and shot me. She shot me, but it didn't hurt. I dropped the tray of drinks as she shot me a few more times. Still no pain or blood. It was then we realized that Sam had switched out the bullets in her gun with blanks. She became angered by this and stormed off to the other room, as we continued to chat like nothing out of the ordinary was going on. I started to smell smoke, went into our bedroom and found that she had set our curtains on fire and they were quickly going up in flames. I put it out before the fire engulfed the wall. By this point in the evening, I was pretty confused as to what was going on (because apparently inviting house guests over just to have them shoot at you and set your house on fire is out of the ordinary), so I asked her had I done something to make her mad. She said, "Well, do you remember doing THIS?" and turned around to lift her hair, revealing a small tattoo on the back of her neck. I couldn't tell what it was, so I moved in closer and realized it was my name. It was my name tattooed on the back of her neck. I had tattooed my name on the back of her neck while she was sleeping. Ummm, yeah. Sorry about that, Lindsey. I promise I only tattoo people inappropriately while they're sleeping with their written permission and full consent.

Pregnancy dreams=insane.

Happy weekend,

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