Will is going to be two and a half years old this month. TWO AND A HALF YEARS OLD. Just typing it, just saying it in my head, realizing the truth and weight of it all, makes my throat close up a little and my eyes start to burn. He is and will always be my baby. Not time, or new babies, or any force of nature will ever change that. Having a new one on the way, makes me yearn to cement that into his little head somehow. Now that there is going to be another person in our family, I want to insure that Will knows without a shadow of a doubt that my love for him will only get bigger as our lives get longer.
I'm watching him grow up and turn into this actual person with his own thoughts and opinions, and it makes me happy and sad simultaneously. He can say to me, "I'm happy," which fills my heart so full, I can almost feel it bursting out of my chest. At the same time, I recall the days when he could only make those sweet little baby sounds, when even the smallest peep or coo from his mouth would make me run to get Rob and be all, "Listen honey, he made noise!" I want to hold on to that feeling. I want to have the same excitement about every thing he says and does now, and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bum me out somewhat that it's becoming more commonplace these days.
The beauty of it all, is that I still marvel in him. Every day, he surprises me. Every day, he makes me smile. Every day, I look at him and am amazed and humbled that I had something to do with this extraordinary person. I already have enough wonderful memories with him to last a lifetime. And looking back at his life, at our life together as a family, reaffirms that being a mom is what I was meant for. Yes, my life was lovely before, but this, this right here, is why I am. It may sound cliche, and it may sound all sentimental and wishy washy, but it is what it is. And it's the truth.