Tough Choices

Rob and I both work full time away from home. It's tough. It's hard not being with Will every day. It's hard dropping him off in the mornings, wondering how he is doing and missing him like crazy. Having a great sitter to drop him off with really softens the blow. It makes it so much easier to leave him when I know that he is in loving and capable hands each day. I can actually come to work and get my job done when I'm not worried about how he's being treated or if he's enjoying himself.

So, it was as if someone had punched me in my stomach yesterday when our beloved sitter turned in her notice. She has decided to home school her daughter and needs to focus all of her attention there. I completely understand and applaud her for doing so, but it makes things extremely difficult on Rob and I. Sitter shopping brings me to my knees. I can handle dirty diapers. I can deal with toddler tantrums. Sleepless nights aren't that bad. But searching for someone to care for my child on a daily basis is enough to send me into full blown panic mode. Leaving our children behind in the hands of someone else is one of the hardest things we have to do as new parents. You see all these horror stories on the news and you just get terrified to walk out that door and leave them behind. And I know there are wonderful people out there, but weeding through all the stinkers to find those jewels is no easy feat.

The last time we went through this process, we found this lovely woman to watch Will in her home. The first day we dropped him off, we pick him up to find that she has left him with her drug addicted daughter while she went to a Dr's appointment. He never went back there. We took vacation time off of work and continued our search. We met a woman who sounded perfect on paper. She had experience, she had references, she was CPR certified, and she had a nice and educational curriculum for the kids. When we got to her house, we were greeted at the fence by her three angry pit bulls. We squeezed our way past them only to make it into her home and find artwork of nuclear war and a pretty extensive book collection on Adolf Hitler. Oh, and she had about 4 teeth. And no, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. It all (unfortunately) really happened.

So if I seem a tad bit stressed and all my hair turns gray, herein lies the reason. I'm not trying to be a grouch, I just want someone great to care for my son when I can't be there. I want someone who pays attention to him and doesn't stick him in front of the TV all day. I want someone who will get down and play with him in the floor. I want someone who changes his diaper when it's full. I want someone who will sing with him and practice his ABCs. I want someone who reads to him. I want someone with nice small dogs. I want someone that isn't fascinated with Hilter. Is this really too much to ask? Where are all the normal people?

L